Why I Write Romance

A friend recently asked me why I chose the romance genre to write about. In fact, I’ve known this person a long time and she wasn’t aware I even liked romance. She said, “You’re good at, I just never knew you liked romance.” And it got me thinking.

I played with Barbies until I was twelve years old - years past all the other girls in my class; most of which stopped around age ten. I would spread out blankets and create houses of cardboard boxes, laid out in a grid like a neighborhood. It was expansive. My dolls had dramatic lives like on General Hospital, which was big at the time. Anyone remember Luke and Laura? I’m dating myself here. Life, death, babies, betrayal, flings, adultery, drama! I even had a lesbian couple; which was very progressive for the 80s. My brothers still talk about the funeral they were forced to attend. Funny enough, when we dug up the doll a year later, she was in perfect condition and I imagined (at age 13 now) she had become a zombie.

I didn’t tell anyone I still played with Barbies, but their stories consumed my life. I remember my parents telling me I was too old to play with dolls and I sadly, I listened to them. I put my Barbies in a box and didn’t look at them for years. I remember how unhappy I felt putting my friends away. I was a weird kid.

I wrote my first novel when I was seventeen. It was a vampire story about a girl who meets a totally hot guy who may or may not be a vampire at the Vampire Lounge (a real coffee house where I grew up). She falls hard for him and he helps her get over the jerk who broke her heart into a million pieces. This girl is in love, but she just can’t understand why this mega-hot dude likes her. Obviously, he sees something in her no one else does. The girl ends up ruining the relationship because she just can’t get around the fact that someone so amazing would love her. The hot guy respects her wishes and leave town. OK LOL. It does not have a happy ending; but she does lose her virginity. At seventeen, I was a year away from that benchmark myself. In the end, she never finds out he’s a vampire who wanted to spend eternity with her and goes back to her boring life.

Sounds good when I write it out like that, but it’s actually HORRIBLE with a capital H. Cringeworthy. The story also explores the girl’s relationship with her mother - my own was quite contentious at the time. Basically, no one understood this girl - which is exactly how I felt when I wrote it. I still have it because it’s like a snapshot of who I was at seventeen: a wannabe writer with deep feels.

In my early 20s, my brother said, “Remember how you loved Barbies? You should play The Sims.” He got me a copy of the game and it was like, “Goodbye everyone! I’ll be with my Sims!” Like Barbies, they consumed my life. I loved them. I made up dramatic stories for them to play out. They were my little pals. I don’t play as much as I used to, but in every iteration of the game, I have re-created the same characters over and over. You could say I got attached. My husband finds the whole thing fascinating. He would often watch me play and marvel at the level of detail I’d given my little people and their friends and enemies in the town.

So when I started writing romance fiction, my husband couldn’t help but notice that my stories were these in-depth worlds like I had created with my Sims and Barbies. He said, “You’ve been telling stories in one way or another your whole life.” It occurred to me: I really had. These stories have been bubbling up in me my entire life. As bad as my age-seventeen novel is, there are elements of all that in my writing now: girls who don’t fit in, they don’t get along with their parents, etc. My stories have many elements of reality in them too. Many events either happened in my own real life or I wished they happened. Write what you know.

I’m sure if I really trace it back, my mom is to blame for me liking romance. She loved old movies and I remember when we first watched Gone with the Wind. To me, four hours was not long enough! I needed to know what happened to Scarlet! And then movies like Raintree County and just about anything to do with love. I may post about my all-time favorite romance movies later. There are a lot. Mom is also the one who got me into Little House on the Prairie and The Hallmark Channel. If I analyze it, I can now see that my mom focused on romance because her own relationship with my dad was failing and the ones after weren’t so hot. She needed to experience that love somehow and she found it in books and movies. I think because my mom didn’t appear to experience passion, I actively made it my mission to have what she didn’t. I’ve had some very dramatic and passionate relationships in my life and they absolutely go into my stories.

To me, romance just isn’t about boy meets girl, boy loses girl, etc. Our romantic relationships are some of the most important ones in our lives. The people we CHOOSE to spend our lives with… it’s everything. Our mates and spouses and lovers affect us in so many deep ways. They can either help us or hinder us. They also affect our other relationships and creep into every aspect of out lives. A boyfriend breaks up with us and we’re so depressed we lose our job. It happened to me. They can support us or bring us down. We also never forget our first loves, our hard loves, our wimpy loves. We remember them all. Our partners are part of us. They’re part of who we are or will become.

Over the years, we develop new relationships to our past loves and I’m captivated by this. How at age sixteen, I was so deep in love with a boy I cried over him every night - and now, I don’t think of him all that much. I now know we were just children and we didn’t know any better. He enters my thoughts occasionally. Part of me still yearns for his attention, but in a nostalgic way. I can also look back fondly on the nights I listened to The Cure and wept into my pillow. I can laugh at how dramatic I was. And all this comes out in my stories.

Part of me wants to immortalize those portions of my life in some way, to live them out again, or give them happier endings. For whatever reason, I am a storyteller and I have stories to tell.

It wasn’t until I started writing exactly to the romance genre that I looked back and recognized that every story I have ever written has some element of romance or an aspect of love, lost love, etc. One short story about a boy and his cat isn’t about romantic love, but it’s about the deep love we feel for our pets. Even when I’m writing about the end of the world, there is love and romance. I also photographed weddings for many years. For me, it was all about their love story. How two people met, fell in love, got along pretty good, and decided to take it to the next level. The wedding vows in particular were always my favorite. I loved watching a couple proclaim their affections in front of God and everyone. I loved seeing people on one of the happiest days of their lives and at their best. But I’m not afraid to write them at their worst. Human beings are complex little animals and I never run out of stories to tell. Every couple was unique, faced their own challenges, and made it work in different ways.

Romance isn’t just two people in love. It’s filled with complicated emotions that equate multifaceted story lines. Life is messy, life is wonderful, and I want to write about it. Ultimately, I write romance because I love love. I know it sounds cheesy. Human love is like a riddle to unravel. I also enjoy writing about NPCs (non-playing characters) like the townies in The Sims. I would often stray from my main family and pick a townie family I liked and would explore their lives. You’ll see this in my upcoming novels - the friends and families in Apple Creek. You’ll learn about all the background characters. I love that. So you see, it’s not just about the main characters, it’s everyone - just like when I was a kid. I also don’t stop after the kiss. What happens after? How do these characters explore their lives together? What could tear them apart or bring them back together? Life isn’t always clean and happy endings aren’t the end of the story.

The Only Writing Books A Newbie Writer Will Ever Need

I recently read a Twitter post or something on a message board (I forget where) from a person claiming to have hundreds of books on the topic of writing. Some people like to collect things and there is someone who collects everything.

For those of you who simply want the goods without taking up too much shelf space, I’ve created this list.

Books on writing are awesome. I love them and I have plenty. You see a good one and think: Hey, I’ll try that out. And then it turns into a dud and you don’t feel like going through the hassle of returning it - or it’s too late. There are many books out there, some better than others. This list assumes you’re just starting out or looking for something to add to your arsenal. If you’ve been writing a long time, chances are you’ve heard of these - but if you haven’t, I hope you’ll get some good use.

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Understanding Show Don’t’ Tell (And Really Getting It)

Hands down, the best education on the concept of Show, Don’t Tell. I’ll admit, when I was just starting out, SDT was basically like two different languages. This book really hit home and does such a good job of explaining it so you really get it. A simple example is:

• He was really mad - TELL

• He slammed his hand on the desk - SHOW

This book goes beyond that and it’s essential for every new writer.

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Save the Cat! Writes a Novel

Note: I have never read this book, but it’s rated five stars on Amazon and people tell me it’s amazing. Definitely work checking out.

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The 90-Day Novel

I avoided this book for years. It kept coming up in my Amazon suggestions, but I vehemently said no because I felt I didn’t need a basic writing how to. After attending a Summer writing workshop, someone had mentioned they loved it and I figured, all right…why not? Least I could do is check it out. And what a difference it has made. The 90 Day Novel can definitely be about blasting through a novel in three months, but for me, it’s been most helpful in getting to know my characters in a deep, fundamental way. The exercises are great for expanding your own relationship with your story. It’s been endlessly useful. I use it as a reference book and have implemented it into how I create my characters.

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Stephen King - On Writing

Whether you’re a fan of King’s or not, there’s no arguing he’s a prolific writer. Although it’s filled with advice, it’s mostly a memoir that talks about how he got started. It’s inspirational to see how he went from nothing to where he is today. It’s also a quick read and makes you feel like you can do it. Although, I will admit, it made me feel bad I hadn’t published anything by the age of 20.

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The Emotion Thesaurus

Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi have created the writing thesaurus empire here. There are five or so other books in the series and I have all of them. These actually make you a better writer. They help for those moments when you’re struggling to describe a character’s emotion and need to go beyond, “he was sad.” The thesauruses for environments are very helpful as well. Our brains are amazing, but even if you’ve been to the big city, you might forget certain sounds that can bring life to your work. These help add real depth and are a must have.

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Naughty Words for Nice Writers

I LOVE this book and use it often. This is immensely helpful for romance writers (or anyone who has romantic elements in their work). Even if you’re writing a fantasy adventure, but there is a love interest. Caveat: Cara Bristol isn’t timid and there are definitely some extra naughty words in here. This covers all the bases and then some, if you get my drift. She also goes into details about how to set a romantic scene, which is beneficial. Sometimes you want more than, “They went into the bedroom - the end.” If you’re writing clean romance and get shy around physical descriptions below neck, this isn’t for you. I love Bristol’s honesty and how she plainly tells the reader that some words are just gross.

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The Chicago Manual of Style

OK, I’m a copy editor and I use this book all the time for everything. If you’re a writer, it’s important to know the rules. I often see writers asking basic grammar questions on Reddit, Facebook, and Twitter. We all need help from time to time; and if you’ve ever delved into WattPad, you know grammar isn’t everyone’s specialty. Even English majors need this book. You can look up information online, but it’s handy to have this baby on your desk for quick reference. The CMS is the most widely used grammar and style guide on the planet. They set the standard. Knowing the rules makes you look like a champ and it improves your writing by ten-fold.

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Writing Between the Sexes

Not to brag, but I already write decent male/female dialog and interactions. At least, I feel like I do. This book however, is great for new writers.

Based on stereotypical (and expected) definitions of male and females, see if you can tell which is the girl and which is the boy:

• “I think we need to talk about our relationship. It’s just…we’ve known each other a long time and I feel like things have been weird for us lately? Know what I mean?”

• “OK.”

Even gender-neutral characters tend to fall into one type of speech or the other. What Michaels calls “female” can easily be applied to your “emotional” or “heart on their sleeve” characters - whatever gender they happen to be. Don’t let the Yin and Yang element deter you. You may have a male character that is more feminine or vice versa. One of the biggest issues new writers have is the inability to differentiate between characters in speech. Don’t feel bad. We all start there. This will help you add more depth to your characters and the way they talk. To be honest, this book also helped me understand interactions with people in real life as well.

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How to Write Sexy Descriptions and Sex Scenes

Val Kovalin has written several M/M romances and a few “how to” books. Fall Into the Sun is really great, by the way. Because she writes male/male romance, this book gets into it. And I mean, in to it! There are however, some wonderful nuggets of information for female/male relationships as well. Shy kids stay away. Kovalin is extremely honest and her advice goes straight for the pants.

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The Hero with a Thousand Faces

Joseph Campbell is the guy who popularized the idea of the hero’s journey and how mythology plays into almost every story you’ll ever read. It’s fascinating. I didn’t get around to this one until I was in my 20s, but knowing what makes stories tick will make you a better writer. If you’re really into the craft of writing, I do suggest you start reading even just a basic high school mythology book.

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Wired for Story: The Writer's Guide to Using Brain Science to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence

This is an important book to read if you’re interested in WHY human being thrive on story. For me, this book helped solidify why I do what I do. It also helps you understand why stories are so important and what it is about them we love so much. It breaks it down in a fun, understandable way.

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I Give You My Body…How I Write Sex Scenes

Diana Gabaldon put this book out a few years ago at the request of her fans. It gets into her head and what she considers when writing a love scene. If you’ve ever read any of her Outlander books, you know she’s a master in the bedroom (and other places as well) without being too graphic. Gabaldon’s sex scenes are emotional and rich. This is a quick read, but filled with lots of wonderful ideas and descriptions from her books to help inspire you.

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How to Write a Swoon-Worthy Sweet Romance Novel

Currently reading: I love this book. Victorine E. Lieske is one the better indie, clean romance writers out there. A self-professed pantser, Lieske attempts to describe what it is she does and how she does it so well. The best part about this book is that she includes one of her popular clean romances and pauses in between paragraphs to describe what she was thinking and why she did what she did. It’s great. This isn’t just for clean romance. Her advice applies to all romance.

Hopefully this list gets you on your way to improving your writing and making better stories. These are just my favorites. What’s your favorite writing book? Post in the comments.

Why You Should Create a Branding and Style Guide

I often talk about how the E-Myth- Revisted is one of the greatest books ever written on running a business; especially for creatives. Written in the 80s, it’s old, but the wisdom within its 200+ pages is easily the most important I’ve ever read. You should read it if you’re running a business. Like, now. 

One of the tips in the book I’ll share with you is “creating systems.” I’ve talked about this before. Systems keep your business running. McDonald’s has a system that is implemented exactly the same way at every single location in every single country. Big Macs are made this way (the word “Big Mac” is two words, capitalized) the branding always looks like this and always uses these colors. Why are systems important? You’re not running a franchise schlepping burgers. But you are running a business. If you don’t see that self-publishing is a business, you might want to start thinking about that. You sell a product. I know that sounds cold, but your books are your products. Even your personality, your profile photo, your blog, and your social media accounts, are all products to sell. In simpler terms, everything you do that has anything to do with your books is marketable. You’re a business because you make a thing and sell it. You also have to pay taxes. 

That said, it’s important to get your systems down. How you do things, when you do them, what they look like. Let’s say you start making it big and your business is running like a well-oiled machine. What happens if you get sick? You could just say “forget it” and let it fall apart, but if you wanted it to keep going, you would have to train someone to do it for you. What if you’re too sick to train someone? 

OK, let’s say you don’t get sick, but you want to hire someone to help run your business? An assistant. You have to train that person how you like things done, right?

Or, how about as you’re marketing, you’re constantly forgetting what fonts you use, can’t locate your profile photo easily, don’t have your bio memorized for all the places you need to post it? 

For all these reasons above, you should create a style guide and keep it somewhere easy to find; like your desktop or your main writing folder. 

In the copy editing world, style sheets are used to describe exactly how a publisher or print house wants things done. What words you can and cannot use, which font, what punctuations are OK, how to spell certain names, what the margins of a page should be, and every detail in between. It’s so that when an editor, proofer, writer, or anyone involved with the text needs to know that you absolutely cannot use the word “feminist” (true story) they can avoid it. Style guides are also used for the art departments to keep employees on brand. PDF: See LIFE Magazine’s (really cool) branding style guide.

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Style guides help keep it all running. If you hire an artist and they don’t know your brand, they’ll come up with his or her own ideas and might be way off base or inappropriate. You never know. Ultimately, it saves time having to train and re-train people. It saves you time not having to look this stuff up every time you need it. 

If, for example, you want to hire an artist to design your book cover for your series, you can either send them the first book image and say, “Use this” or send them a really nice style guide. This way, there will be no questions and your artist can get to work. 

Scenario: 

• Artist: What font do you want on the cover? 

• You: Uh…I forget what it’s called. Let me look it up and get back to you. 

Alternate Scenario: 

• Artist: What font do you want on the cover?

• You: I’ve attached my current style guide which has all the information you’ll need. 

• Artist: Oh, thank you. You are amazing. You’re literally the best writer I’ve ever worked with. You just made MY job so much easier. I love you. Will you marry me?

As you can see, the two scenarios go down very differently ;) 

I joke, but it’s true. Style guides will make the jobs of the people who work for you easier. How about the editor who is editing your book? I can’t speak for all editors, but I would LOVE if my client sent me their style guide. In that case, I wouldn’t have to stop every five minutes to make sure they spelled certain words correctly. This is extremely important with you fantasy writers out there. You all make up names for everything.  You even create new languages! How do I know that Gloamphosphia is your made-up word for a small fungus on your alien planet? What if YOU misspell your own made-up words in your manuscript? It happens. Some fantasy words are really complicated. As an editor, I would have no idea if you meant to spell “pllanet” with two Ls because that’s how they spell it in all your books. Without knowing, I would correct it to “planet,” thus giving you tons of work after the fact re-correcting it. Making a style guide saves time. Think about the email you have to write to your editor explaining the world you created. Just attach your style guide and you’re off to binge Netflix and sip tea like a boss. 

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You are your own publishing house and all publishing houses use style guides. Put in the work to create one now and you’ll save yourself time and heartache later. 

Take a look at my style guide (left) and the LIFE Magazine one above to give you ideas. Mine is extremely simple - not as fancy as those fat cats at LIFE, but I have the pertinent information - both for myself and anyone I might hire. It’s also a work in progress and will be filled out and re-designed as time goes on. It’s a living document that changes as you change. 

An Argument For Pricing Your Book Higher

When I was a wedding photographer, I started out posting ads on Craigslist. It took a while to realize that while I was getting gigs, I was attracting low ballers. In the industry, they’re called “budget brides.” These are the people who can’t afford to hire a professional photographer and are looking for students or newbies who want to pad their portfolio. I appreciate the struggle. Weddings are expensive and you want to cut corners anywhere you can. Some people can’t afford the whole Martha Stewart countryside fantasy. Some just want a nice party, food catered by McDonald’s (true story) and to have some decent photos. Without realizing it, these budget brides bring the market down. To further add to the descent, hungry photographers (who don’t know any better) snap at these gigs like piranha. I can say this, because I did it. I’d see a bride posting a gig for $50 and I’d jump at it. 

Without going into too much detail (boring), shooting a wedding is at least a six to twelve hour day -not counting the hours of Photoshop editing, delivery, overhead, etc. Divide $50 by six hours and you’re making $8 an hour (under minimum wage) - and that’s just the wedding day. Forget about the post production, which often takes weeks.

This twisted supply and demand chain makes it difficult to earn a decent wage. In many ways, the internet is still the West West and people are still figuring it out. When I became more confident and started charging what real photographers charge, couples would say, “Another photographer we contacted only wanted $200. Can you match that?” There was this inherent haggling mentality that I grew weary of. Do you haggle over the price of a gallon of milk at the grocery store? You haggle for cars and second hand items. What else? A movie ticket? The price of a cool jacket online? You don’t haggle over most things in life. So why wedding photography, the most important day of your life? Needless to say, it was frustrating - constantly having to defend my pricing (which was in the middle of the road for professionals in my area). I lost lots of leads. The ones I did get were wonderful and fulfilling, but you deal with more hagglers and cheapskates than people who value what you do. I constantly had to remind myself that what I was doing was of value. And that’s the key word here: Value. 

Value: The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

In those early days, I didn’t value my work. I said things like, “I’m just starting out, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t charge people for me to learn.” I recently had a conversation with a friend who’s thinking about getting into wedding photography. He says the same things. We don’t feel we’re worth it for whatever reason: Whether we’re just starting out, we don’t know the rules, we’re desperate to validate our business by getting any business at all. We want to start making money right away. I feel you. I was that way too. Desperate is the word. I was down there in the dregs clawing for any job I could get. Problem is, this is called “undercutting” and it’s no different than what the 99 Cents Store does. You have options: You can buy a crappy pair of headphones at The Dollar Store (they work fine for a while) or you can go to the Apple Store and pay forty bucks; they’ll last longer and work better. You can buy a knock-off Prada bag on the side of the road or you can save up and buy an actual Prada bag. Hint: One is made better. 

Quality and value. Think about these words for a moment. If you’re happy with your fake Prada bag, cool. It’s because you don’t see value in the real deal. All you want is the prestige that comes with the bag; which you’re getting on a superficial level. But when the handles start peeling, the game is over and everyone sees it. You’re poor and you bought a fake bag. The topic of “poverty mentality” is a much longer discussion. I grew up poor, but I learned that you have to put value on things. Higher quality items are worth the investment because they last longer and we place more importance on them. 

So how does this apply to book sales? eBooks don’t have the same longevity that print books have. Also, it’s just a digital file: Little strings of invisible ones and zeros. If you walk into a Barnes and Noble and find a special edition Sorcerer’s Stone with a gold leaf hardcover, you better believe it’s going to cost more than ninety-nine cents. The publishing house understands this item has value and is worth more than the paperback. It’s special. Can you apply this mentality to your own book? Newbies lack the confidence to compete so they price low. They think in terms of quantity over quality. If I sell a thousand books at ninety-nine cents, I’ll make a thousand dollars. That’s alotta loot if you’re broke. Except, you’re undercutting yourself. Stop a moment and think about how YOU feel about ninety-nine cent books. You don’t value them as much as you do a five-dollar book. It’s not a major hit to the pocketbook and you don’t care if you read it or not. What about a free book? Is it special? Nope, it’s just another free book taking up space on your Kindle. I have dozens on my Paperwhite. I have no urgency, no connection, no emotional ties to these books. I don’t care. 

Higher pricing doesn’t guarantee a customer will actually read your book, but it guarantees how they’ll feel about it - even on a subconscious level. In fact, I would argue that pricing low is a deterrent. A ninety-nine cent book is only worth ninety-nine pennies. Forget that it took you a year to write and six months to publish. There is the strange idea that writing isn’t about earning an hourly wage. It’s about volume. Let’s do the math, shall we? 

If you sell a thousand books at ninety-cents, that’s obviously $990. Let’s imagine you wrote (or edited) for an hour every day for six months. That’s 180 hours you put into writing your book. Just for the writing part, you made $5.50 an hour - way below minimum wage. Again, we’re not counting the editing, marketing, web design, graphic design, social media. You could probably safely double the time to 360 hours which puts you at $2.75 an hour. This is just an example and I’m estimating the time. You’re probably putting way more than 180 hours into writing your book. Also, let’s be honest, you’re probably not going to sell a thousand copies out of the gate. You’re basically pricing yourself less than undocumented migrant workers make and it’s illegal to pay someone under minimum wage.

But you’re not a migrant worker, you’re a college graduate with a degree in cool. Society tells us that college grads should earn more. I know. We won’t talk about the current job market. It’s messed up. But this isn’t about the social issue of illegal labor in this country or how hard it is to get a job after you spend twenty-thousand dollars on university and are currently in debt up to your eyeballs. It’s about valuing your work. Illegal farm labor isn’t valued, which is why crooked businessmen can pay undocumented workers under the table and under minimum wage. In turn, the workers, desperate for money and scared of immigration, take what they can get. Taking what you can get is real. I’ve worked plenty of jobs I was overqualified for and got paid less than I was worth. 

So how do you put a price on the invisible aspects of expertise and talent? It starts with putting a value on your work. You are worth more than ninety-nine cents per unit. Your writing, which you have cultivated and researched, learned about and paid for workshops and how-to books is worth more than ninety-nine cents. How much have you invested in your craft? Add time and money. Many years and thousands of dollars. This is worth more than ninety-nine cents. What about the years of reading fantasy novels? How much have you spent on reading your favorite author? Believe it or not, reading is part of your job. If you’re a writer, you can write-off books from your taxes. It’s research. So how much have you spent on books over the years? If you’re like me, it’s more than you can count. 

But everyone else is pricing their books at ninety-nine cents! These are the budget brides of the business who don’t value the work. Value the work! You are a genius. You work hard. You put blood, sweat and tears into your novel. Value the work! This doesn’t mean price your book at a thousand dollars per unit, but it does mean you’re allowed to be competitive - even if it’s your first book. Did J.K. Rowling tell her publishing house to price The Sorcerer’s Stone for ninety-nine cents because she was an unknown? I don’t remember the exact cost in 1992, but it was more than ninety-nine cents. The publisher put value on the book and customers happily paid. But you’re not J.K. Rowling. Well, neither was J.K. in 1991. 

When you peruse Amazon books in your genre, you’re likely to see thousands of competitors. It’s inundating and stressful because you feel like a small fish in a big pond. You think that a lower price is going to entice buyers. It might, but it also devalues your work. You’re telling the world that you’re only worth ninety-nine pennies per unit. 

Valuing your work is an emotional and psychological hurdle. Because it isn’t just about wanting to entice budget readers. It’s about how you feel about yourself. Let’s face it, writers are solitary creatures who don’t do society very well. We’re usually awkward, weird, overweight, underweight, goobers. Yes, I’m a total goob. I gladly admit that I was not the popular girl in class. In high school, people called me “Beetlejuice” and I would correct them and say, “You mean Lydia.” What a dork. No one cared they got it wrong. A better comeback might have been, “Your mom is Beetlejuice.” I digress. The vast majority of authors are nerds and nerds inherently come with low self-esteem. Not all, but most. There’s always that one over-confident nerd like Kevin Smith, Bill Nye, or that curly headed kid from Stranger Things. We’re not talking about them. We’re talking about you and me. 

When I updated the prices in my wedding photography brochure, I was terrified. I literally tripled my prices. I felt that people who saw those numbers would run for the hills. Some did. But I also started attracting a higher quality customer. People who valued my work. At the end of the wedding, instead of asking how long the photos would take, suddenly couples were thanking me profusely for my hard work. I shot fewer weddings and made more money. 

Sadly, not everyone is going to get this. Fear is a major motivator and it tells you to compete. Worse, there are entrepreneur gurus out there telling you it’s smart to low ball your work. That’s because they’re the kind of people who value numbers over experience. And guess what? We are currently living in an experience culture. More and more people are wanting experience over quantity. Think about the recent onslaught of pop ups and escape rooms. People want entertainment. There will always be those (I know plenty) who clip coupons, horde all their 2-for-1 purchases in a stock room and clamor for the best bargain. Black Friday Madness is real. If this is your audience, cool. If not, price your books to attract a higher quality bride. You’re worth it. Trust me. 

There is no magic price. There is what the market dictates and you must consider this. Look for books in your genre and price accordingly. If you’re only seeing low ballers in the ninety-nine cent range, stand out and price higher. They’re all going to look like the Dollar Store and you’re going to look like Bloomingdales. 

Caveat: Pricing higher is not a guarantee for sales. You must have a good product, a solid marketing strategy and brand. You must also be patient. Nothing happens overnight. Now, I’m not making millions here. I’ve made a couple bucks so far on Lessons in Love, but I do know about valuing your work. At the end of the day, if you don’t value your work, no one else will. 

If you still doubt what I say, watch this.

How I Come Up with Character Names

I hear a lot of author stress about coming up with character names. I don’t write fantasy, so it’s generally pretty simple. Except, once you’ve written more than a few stories, it’s easy to get stuck. You want your characters to be memorable and you don’t want to use the same name over again. I have a simple trick for coming up with character names:

BABY NAMING BOOKS

Some of you are going, “Duh, known about them forever." But for those of you who’ve just had a light turn on, you’re welcome. We don’t know what we don’t know until we know it. I’ve been using The Baby Naming Wizard for years. Most times I just flip the pages and stop. Whatever it lands on, it lands on. That’s it. Here’s one now….flip flip flip stop. DeAndre. Let’s get one for our heroine….flip flip flip stop. Trina. This also really helps me coming up with ideas for new stories. What can I do with DeAndre and Trina? I’m already thinking about ideas for their love affair. Who is DeAndre? What kind of girl is Trina?

The Baby Naming Wizard not only has “normal” sounding names, but also many exotic ones too. It’s worth picking up as one more tool for your tool chest. It also has lots of information about the etymology of many of the names for those of you looking to give your character names meaning. It also pairs names that are related and sound good together. It’s a fun book to look through.

When I’m not close to my baby naming book and need a name quick, I run through IMDB, pick the latest blockbuster and scan through the credits. See, I don’t like naming my characters Shirellasa or Frizmata. I write extraordinary stories about everyday people. That’s fun for me. Taking normal people and putting them into wonderful situations. In Lessons in Love, it doesn’t get more basic than Anne. I also love the name Anne. What thoughts come up when you hear that name? She’s probably sweet. Maybe she’s a little feisty like Anne of Green Gables. I like the randomness that comes from flipping through a book for a random name. I also design my characters in a similar way.

Character Structure Worksheet

To see how I then take my newly named characters and turn them into real people, download my Character Structure Worksheet. It’s free, BTW. It contains some tricks I’ve developed over the years through trial and error, after attending many workshops, and reading lots of books.

Download Character Structure Sheet

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How Do You Know If You're a Bad Writer?

If you’ve just started writing, you might wonder if you’re actually bad at it. Do you sometimes read your own work and think, “This is awful. No one will ever read it.” If you do, you’re definitely a writer. But are you a good or bad writer?  

A few years ago, I heard about shifter novels and did some research. Come to find out, shifter novels are basically werewolf romances, but sometimes you can have different animals. Like, the main love interest can “shift” into a wolf or a bear or a squirrel or whatever. Usually, shifter males are hunky hot dudes with insatiable sexual appetites. Growl! Believe it or not, shifter novels are very popular. They generally fall under the supernatural/erotica category; although the ones I read were nasty! And I mean NAAAAASTY. If you get my drift. The author I found claimed to be a USA Today bestselling author so I downloaded one of her books and dug in. 

It was literally the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life. Not just bad plot-wise, but the grammar, egregious spelling mistakes, plus horrendous descriptions of body parts and bodily functions. I mean, come on. Slick channel? Bulbous head? No and no. How the heck did this author become a best-selling author in any capacity? She has hundreds of reviews and a decent following on social media. Did she pay for reviews? I digress. After reading this novel I had an epiphany. 

You learn more from the bad than the good. 

This contradicts all the writing advice you’ll ever get. We’re often told to read works in our genre and learn from the greats. However, brilliant novels like, for example, To Kill a Mockingbird, are otherworldly. You read them and try to figure out exactly how Harper Lee did it. Is there a formula? How did she use dialog? Can you reverse engineer it? Where does she introduce conflict? I’m sure people have studied the structure of Mockingbird to death, but as an average reader, it is unknown to us what incantation they used to cast this spell. We read those words and are transported. We can hear Scout clearly, we know exactly what Boo Radley looks like, but how did Lee do it? The answer is simple: Magic.

On the other hand, read a horrible book and it’s like driving head-on into the setting sun. When it’s so awful, you can’t help but compare your own work, especially when you cringe at a mistake you’ve made yourself. The mistakes are front and center, which makes them easy to avoid and dissect. In fact, I learned more about writing by reading this shifter novel than any how-to book or workshop I’ve attended. What not to do is just as important as what to do.

In order to learn the cold, hard truth, you have to put your work out there. Even then, like Shifter Writer, who despite being one of the worst writers I’ve read has a following. She has plenty of good reviews even with appalling spelling mistakes. We, as authors, are unable to judge the good or bad of our own work. Good and bad are subjective anyway. What’s good to you is bad to someone else. Shifter Writer probably thinks she’s a genius. She certainly offers something to her readers. But let me be clear. It’s not just her lack of talent, it’s the overall presentation, the absurd story, the cringeworthy dialog. It’s everything. This isn’t to say she doesn’t work hard. I bet she does. In the end, all that really matters is you enjoy yourself. 

Thanks to the homogenization of the publishing industry, bad writers get just as much access as good writers. You might be the worst writer in the world, but you could still have a following just like Shifter Writer. Good, bad. What does it matter as long as you love it? 

We all worry we’re not good at things. We all put our hearts and souls into our work, re-read and wonder: Will people hate it? They might, but there is an audience for everyone. If you look at the world as one of abundance, you’ll see that even bad writers have fans. I don’t like Dan Brown, but apparently people love his work. What I’m saying is, do it because you love it and don’t worry if you’re bad or good. Just create. 

That said, if you really want to know, you must hold your work up to the light. Join critique groups, submit to friends and other writers. Hire beta readers. Rejections from publishers are not a good indication of talent. Plenty of great books get rejected. I once emailed a fairly well-known author after one of his short stories was published in The New Yorker - which is notoriously difficult to get into. I asked him how long it took him to get in and he said it took “hundreds” of submissions. And he’s been writing for over forty years and has numerous books under his belt. 

Good and bad are subjective. Remember that. Continue to work on your craft and be the best you can be. You’re going to be rejected, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad. However, there are some key indicators you might be a bad writer if…

• You aren’t able to capture the unique voices of your characters - making them all sound the same

• You’re unable to properly create high-stakes situations with subtly. Don’t worry. This is a skill you learn over time

• You over-explain. Exposition has its place, but far too many new writers spell it out for their readers and do too many flashbacks. Assume your readers are intelligent and will be able to figure it out with as little information as possible to keep the story going

• You don’t fully understand “show, don’t tell.” Don’t panic. Show don’t tell isn’t the easiest concept to understand when you’re just starting out. Buy a book called Understanding Show Don’t Tell (and Really Getting It) by Janice Hardy. It’s the only book I’ve ever read on the subject that really explains it well. 

• Bad writers assume they’re geniuses who do everything right. There is always room for improvement and any writer will tell you that. I think it’s safe to say most writers always believe something is missing from the final manuscript - or it could’ve been better. Anthony Burgess, who wrote A Clockwork Orange, reportedly felt his book was misunderstood. 

• You assume your first draft has to be a work of art. First drafts are never good. It comes with the territory. The first draft of one of my work-in-progress novels started out as 40,000 words. It’s now somewhere in the territory of 200,000 words. Lord help me. I know. That’s not good. I haven’t been able to cut it down for a year. Does it make me a bad writer? It means I’m stuck and it happens to everyone. Let yourself off the hook. No one’s first draft is amazing. 

• Bad writers feel like the tried and true dialog tags “said” and “asked” are passé. Instead, they use words like “breathed” or “retorted.” I personally hate the word retort. There really is no need to spice up dialog tags. Just get on with the story.

• Bad writers care more about themselves than the reader

What are you thoughts? What makes someone a bad or good writer? Post in the comments.